This is How Positive Change Happens…

Working with The Wall

Maybe we all have an internal wall. There seems to be a part of us that quickly goes into self-protection mode when we perceive a threat, sometimes even a slight one. Our walls can take many forms, some more obvious than others. Sometimes, we can recognize the wall through arms crossed over the chest or through getting too intellectual.

The wall is not bad or wrong. It’s trying to protect us. Sometimes we really need it to protect us from actual physical and/or emotional danger. Other times, we don’t really need its help and it ends up blocking us from an important experience that we really want to have in our lives such as deeper intimacy, fun, or freedom.

When I work with the wall, I start by recognizing and accepting its existence, non-judgementally. I make an invitation to get it know it better: What does it look like? How big or small is it? How old is it? Is it really solid or is it somewhat moveable? Where can you feel it in your body? I often apply EMDR, a tool that can help us access information more clearly and deeply, when working with the wall.

Once we get more acquainted with the wall, I start to encourage the development of a more conscious relationship or dialogue with the wall. For example, what do you want to do to the wall? What does the wall what to do to you? Sometimes, a feeling of wanting to destroy the wall will come up. That’s understandable. But because the wall is a part of ourselves, I ask that we accept it rather than destroy it or work with it rather than against it. From this place, a positive change often takes place. The wall often becomes smaller, more moveable, or less solid. A feeling of understanding and compassion often arises. And with that, less fear and more freedom.

This process of accepting our internals walls, getting to know them, and bringing more compassion to that part of ourselves helps the more mature, wise, and mindful part of ourselves have more of a chance to be in charge of how we live. We can then move forward in healthy co- existence with our walls, putting them up when they’re truly needed and, at the same time, living free from holding up unnecessary and painful barriers to a happier life.

Resources :
EMDR:
http://www.anapsys.co.uk/emdr.pdf

15 Common Defense Mechanisms online article:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/0001251

Defense Mechanisms | EMDR |Individual Therapy