Guilt is gold

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This is How Positive Change Happens… As one of my trainers in ISTDP, Dr Patricia Coughlin, puts it, “guilt is the most misunderstood emotion”. We tend to have so much reactivity to our emotion of guilt. For example, we tend to get it confused with...

Internal Problems and Goals in ISTDP

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This is How Positive Change Happens… In ISTDP therapy sessions, we team up to work on – and come back to – this key question in the image below as an anchor. It helps keep us focused and it supports us to make progress in the work as soon as we can...

What Does it Mean to be More Vulnerable?

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This is How Positive Change Happens… “I’m reading a book by Brene Brown on vulnerability and I want to be more vulnerable.” “I want to be more vulnerable with my partner but I get scared.” “I’m trying to feel my feelings...

5 Tips for Better Communication

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This is How Positive Change Happens… Want to communicate better? Try these five ways to improve your communication and quality of connection. 1. When you feel appreciation toward someone, share it liberally! Research has shown (Gottman) that relationships...

How to Use Your Anger to Improve Your Life

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This is How Positive Change Happens… How do you feel about getting angry? If you’re like many of my clients, you might believe there’s something wrong with you for feeling angry. You might even think something bad or dangerous will happen if you let yourself...

How to Deal with Your Emotions

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This is How Positive Change Happens… When people initially contact me to do counselling and therapy, they often say: “I want to work on how to deal with my emotions”. That’s a worthwhile goal because our emotions are a hugely significant part...

My Top 10 Books for Positive Change

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This is How Positive Change Happens… I often get asked for book recommendations which is great because reading and learning is an important part of positive change. I remember learning years ago that including reading books in the counselling or therapy process...

Going for a Small Goal

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This is How Positive Change Happens… Whether I like it or not, as a New Year approaches I find myself grappling with the possibility of participating in the popular cultural phenomena of crafting a “new year’s resolution” or not. This year I...