Guilt is gold

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This is How Positive Change Happens… As one of my trainers in ISTDP, Dr Patricia Coughlin, puts it, “guilt is the most misunderstood emotion”. We tend to have so much reactivity to our emotion of guilt. For example, we tend to get it confused with...

What Does it Mean to be More Vulnerable?

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This is How Positive Change Happens… “I’m reading a book by Brene Brown on vulnerability and I want to be more vulnerable.” “I want to be more vulnerable with my partner but I get scared.” “I’m trying to feel my feelings...

How to Use Your Anger to Improve Your Life

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This is How Positive Change Happens… How do you feel about getting angry? If you’re like many of my clients, you might believe there’s something wrong with you for feeling angry. You might even think something bad or dangerous will happen if you let yourself...

How to Deal with Your Emotions

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This is How Positive Change Happens… When people initially contact me to do counselling and therapy, they often say: “I want to work on how to deal with my emotions”. That’s a worthwhile goal because our emotions are a hugely significant part...

My Top 10 Books for Positive Change

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This is How Positive Change Happens… I often get asked for book recommendations which is great because reading and learning is an important part of positive change. I remember learning years ago that including reading books in the counselling or therapy process...

You’re Needy: How to Communicate Better

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This is How Positive Change Happens… You’re needy. We’re all needy. We’re born with needs, we live with them, and we die with them. There’s no choice in this. It’s a given of our human existence, whether we like it or not....

Self-Care is Giving to Others too

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This is How Positive Change Happens… I just read an excellent article on self-care and one of the main obstacles to it: a pattern of focusing too much on other people and how they are/how their needs are being met to the neglect of focusing enough energy and...